Been a looooong time

It has been a long time since I felt the need to blog. I figured I should at least type a few lines. I have been enjoying my "new" voice. The Dr. gave me some vocal exercises to try and I really think they are working. My voice is getting stronger each day and I do not have much vocal strain. I am still using all the alternative methods I can think of in class and the kids have been great! Jake heard me singing yesterday and said "Oooohh Mamma, sounding like a pro!" That was nice to hear, I'm pretty sure he is NOT tone deaf so I'm gonna take that compliment and run with it.

I look back on the past year(s) struggles and I think about all the emotion, fear, frustration I felt. Seems silly at times that I felt so "down and out" but I guess it was a grieving process that I needed to go through. Even though I know it wasn't "all that bad". I feel a little ashamed now. I wasn't given a death sentence, it wasn't cancer, I didn't have a limb removed. I could still eat, work, play with my kids, function with day to day tasks. It just took a little longer or some extra thought or time to do certain things. I felt such a loss when it first happened back in 2000 with the paralyzed chord and then again in Fall of 2008 when I was told I had the nodules. My voice has always been such a huge part of my life. It was such a huge part of my personality. Communication is and always has been so important to me. It's informative, it's social, it's comedic, it's melodic. I talk to myself most days(no I'm not crazy). It was just that...a LOSS. But that loss has now brought me some gains as well.

So now I'm grateful...I needed the time to change. I needed the change. I'm a much better listener now, I think. You will have to ask my friends to see if they think so. I try not to yell as much, you will have to ask my kids if they think that is true. I don't enjoy sporting events as much as I can't cheer the teams(or my kids) on the way I used to. (I have a pretty good whistle though) In general, I think I'm doing just fine and if the vocal chord problem is the biggest health issue I ever have...well I'm doing really, really, really great! And that's pretty darn good!

I will sing in moderation, read books aloud to children in moderation, converse with friends with moderation and keep on keepin' on...I hope you all do as well. Thanks for reading

Mel out!