YAHOOOOOOO!

Finally! After 10 years of suffering with this "condition" I have perfectly symmetrically moving vocal chords. My speech pathology friends are cheering with me. Wahoooooooooo! Yipppppeeee! They look great. Straight as an arrow, bump free, vibrating symmetrically and closing completely. I am thrilled. My doctor is thrilled. He even gave me some vocal exercises to do to build stamina so that I can work on my singing voice. This time of year is hard for me, I love to sing with the Christmas music and I have been sounding like a pubescent boy for the past few weeks when attempting to sing. It should get better with some practice. I hope so, I do love to sing. I survived parent teacher conferences and a wonderful trip to New Orleans where I met the most wonderful people and talked, danced and sang the weekend away. I wish I could rewind to there now. Aahhhhh....oh well.

Mel out!

The Record Still Stands

Cody has decided to assist me with my plan to not work a full work week. I picked his lifeless body up from daycare this afternoon to find out that he has a 102.00 temp. Can't go to school tomorrow, nope. That means I can't go to school tomorrow and that also means I have to cancel 6 parent teacher conferences too. 14 years of teaching and I have never had to do that before. I guess I will save my voice. That is a plus but that also means next week will be hard. I have to double up on the conferences Monday and Tuesday. That's how things go friends, you just deal with it cuz that's all you can do. I will be very thankful when Thanksgiving rolls around, day of rest? Nahhhhhhh turkey, talk, and tasty treats. (And throw in some huge balloons, musical numbers and Santa!-my favorite part of the day...yep, the parade)

Mel Out!

The Beat Goes On

If you know me at all, a little bit or inside out you know that eventually this blog was going to be just ramblings about my life in general. So I will share a tid-bit with you. Tonight I ran out of gas as I was taking 4 children home from Religious Ed. Yep, empty, nada, nuttin honey! I had just enough fumes and sense to coast to the side of the road during "rush hour" traffic on route 31 in Perinton.
My Daddy always told me "Do not go below 1/4 of a tank in good weather and 1/2 tank in the winter. Up until today, I had taken this advice to heart and used it wisely. Today, I obviously lost all senses. It won't happen again, 23 year record down the drain. I feel like a failed factory worker who just broke the "days since last injury on the job" counter and blew the bonus for the whole crew. Live and learn, AGAIN.
On Sunday, I was bound and determined to make sure we were at church. I was feeling so good about being in full voice I wanted to sing at church. The boys, however, had a different plan. They have decided that it is their goal in life to miss church as often as possible. They have made it a game. They try to "oversleep", fake sickness, even change the time on the clocks so that I think we don't have enough time to make it. (They are cunning, devilish little men...I love them.) While getting Cody(6) dressed for the big event, he says to me..."Hey Mom, ya know what? I was flipping through the channels and I saw church on TV. We could just watch it. We don't even have to leave the house!" Yeah...NO! We went to church. We were welcomed for the second week by a darling elderly woman named Sally who loves to announce how long it's been since she has seen us in church. (I'm trying lady, I really am.) I know she means no harm but I already have all the Catholic guilt I can stand right now. My penance, I'm sure, is teaching Kindergarten Religious Ed every Tuesday. I'm earning my place in Heaven, I hope. Anyway, we enjoyed Mass. At one point Jake even leaned over and said "Nice voice Mom, I think it's coming back. And they are playing all your favorites." He was right it wasn't bad. Wasn't up to snuff though either. My voice cracked like a pubescent boy at times, cut out completely at times and it was scratchy afterwards. Baby steps people...I'm taking baby steps. A call to the Dr. will go in tomorrow.

Mel out!

ah HAH!

I have found the secret to success. I have reached the summit. I have found the answer to all life's problems. The cure for...ok I have done none of that. Sorry for the build up. What I have found is that my voice holds out really well if I don't work a full work week. (I have not "worked" a full week since school started. Workshops, kid sickness, no daycare, Dr.'s appts etc.) This past week I managed to work two whole days in a row. Phew...it was tough but I plugged through. I was wondering why I was in full singing voice Friday afternoon as I drove home. It may be the key to my own personal success and happiness. I need to find a way to keep this pace. Any suggestions? I'm thinking sabbatical. But where? To "study" what? Hmmmmmm?

Mel out!

The weeks are flying by...

This week was pretty uneventful, voice wise. It was a slow week and I kept myself in check. The microphone is second nature now and the "quiet time" is getting to be. I have noticed that I often tell Cody he is yelling. Gee where does he get that from? I am really sensitive to the volume all of a sudden. Sooooo, I apologize for being so loud all these years, how annoying. I'm still working on it though, I know I am not always as quiet as I should be but I recognize it much more these days. I'm enjoying my life right now. The class is wonderful, the boys are fun and the rest of my life is settling down nicely. There is so much to enjoy and look forward to right now. I wish the same for all of you. I'm a lucky girl!

Mel out!

HA! Again!

I sang today! La, la, la, la, la, la , la... and it sounded damn good. Well... I was the only one in the car and I could possibly be tone deaf. But whatever. I felt good. It didn't feel strained or anything. I made it through the first cold of the season(it wasn't easy). AND I SANG TODAY PEOPLE! Watch out Mariah, Melissa is in the house. (I can dream can't I?) Stop laughing, it could happen.

Mel out!

Sniff, Sniff

No I'm not crying. I have caught my first cold of the year. Minor, tiny even-- but enough to be annoying. I am chugging fluids, taking Day Quil and Airborne. Thank goodness for the long weekend(thank you, Christopher Columbus). My voice will be well rested. It is always harder when I have a cold, it seems to go right to the vocal cords. Oh well...life goes on. Soup, rest and liquids. Yeah, that's tough to take.

Mel Out!

Another great week!

Things went very well this week. Religious Ed class was tough because I forgot my water bottle. I won't make that mistake again. It was great to be with Cody even though he said I was mean. "Mom, you were mean at Religion class. You didn't call on me when I raised my hand. I knew all the answers and you wouldn't call on me." I did in fact call on him several times, but I explained to him there are 5 other children that would like to participate. Yeah, he doesn't care. I'm mean. Oh well.

I watched the social speaking as well this week and a wonderful parent gave me a "dog clicker" to assist in the classroom. Those of you who are from the 70's will remember the little annoying tin noise makers that we used to drive our parents crazy. The ones with the little insects on the end, the size of a barrette. I have actually been looking for something similar all summer with no luck. This clicker works great. It's just loud enough to get their attention. I call it a "kid clicker". Things are going very well in the classroom. I'm happy, the kids are happy. It's all good.

Mel out!

One Week Later...

I concentrated on vocal rest this week. Not bad. Only spoke to the chosen few. I'm getting really good at deciding who is "speech worthy". I did rather well with the whole thing. The kids are fabulous(school kids). My own personal kids are still testing the waters. Oh well. The only bad part to the week was a mishap while consuming my usual gallons of water each day. It just went down the wrong way and I had a major coughing fit. Tears rolled down my cheeks and the kids kept asking, "Are you ok Ms. Bilyo". The hang on 1 sec hand motion meant nothing to them. I went to the hallway to recover. After that my throat hurt for a couple days. YIKES! Note to self...don't cough unless you really, really have to.

For the most part, life is really good and I am enjoying the ride right now. That's all I can do. I start teaching Kindergarten Religious Education on Tuesday(no snickers, apparently they are letting anyone teach religion these days). We shall see how that factors into my vocal cord irritation.

Mel out!

Social Speaking 101 (review class required)

Enjoyed my first Pub Crawl. Yep, good time. We drank, we talked, we laughed, we danced and of course...we sang. I did everything I'm not supposed to do. Well the dancing was ok but with dancing comes singing...no, no, no. Can I help it that it was a cover band and I knew every song? Could I help it that we knew one of the wives and they requested Bon Jovi just for me? Can I help it that it was a beautiful day with really fun girlies to hang with? I know, I know self control is an issue here. Story of my life! The bars were loud(not supposed to talk "over" anyone etc). The band was loud too. The girls were hysterical and I just plain love to talk. Also, this was the first full week of school and I had curriculum night. I already had a few extra hours of talking on the record books.

I have learned my lesson though. Jake called me at 8:30 AM(Geesh kid, ever sleep in?) He just wanted to chat. My voice was strained and he felt bad keeping me on the phone. It was my choice to abuse my voice, he shouldn't have to pay for it. I need to save my voice for those who are important to me. I guess you will know if you are one of the chosen few if I return the banter. (Hee, hee!) So back to the recommendations for vocal rest this week. I have already begun today with a few hours of silence and some nice warm tea. Thank goodness for txt messaging.

Mel out!

Pbbbbttttthhhh Sarah!

So Sarah thinks I need to change the blog title. I suggested Big Mouth Bilyo is back. I didn't like that, however. For now what you see is what you get. Suggestions from the peanut gallery are always welcome. The kids are doing great with the routines etc. My throat is a little sore today and I have curriculum night tomorrow so stay tuned. And keep your fingers crossed. I just hope noone falls asleep. True story, someone did one year.

Mel out!

Monday's are tough!

Especially sunny Mondays. I didn't want to go to work this morning, just had a lovely weekend. I had lots of vocal rest...ok, ok I lie! I'm a fraud. Whatever! I did rest a bit. I didn't sing while I cleaned the house, just danced. I didn't use my voice at all while playing Go Fish with the boys for almost and hour. I didn't shout at the soccer game, nope not once. When I took the boys to Wickham Farms for Putt Putt and the bouncy pillow(I don't recommend for women with after children bouncing issues) I used my whistle to get their attention. I didn't care that the other parents thought I was a freak, I didn't care that they thought I was the father in the Sound of Music before he became all mushy for Fräulein Maria. Didn't care. It worked, I blew, they froze and looked at me. Ya do what ya gotta do my friends.

I only had 15 children today, 2 out sick and one...well...I think in Russia, not really sure. We had a fire drill and they responded like good little Pavlovian puppies. I was so proud. They followed every hand gesture and every mouthed word. They will know how to read lips very well after being with me. Parents all over Webster will despise me. I rewarded them with a danceparty where the boys taught me some "cool moves". They are some serious party animals. I love 'em. I do. Gonna be a good year. Aaaaahhhhhhhh can't wait.

Rock Star!

I felt like a rock star today...well, I guess I imagine I felt the same rush as a rock star. Stood in the hallway at "my post" like I have done every day of school for the past 14 years and accepted every hug and high five I could possibly muster without hurting someone. I love my job! Where else can you get that much sincere lovin'.

I had cried all the way to work thinking about my boys entering their new situations(middle school and kindergarten). I felt old, like time had passed so quickly and I worried. I worried Jake wouldn't find his classes or have any buddies in them. I worried that Cody would be too scared(he kept saying he was nervous) and cry at school-I hate when they cry at school, breaks your heart. So I needed all the lovin' I could get and boy did they bring it! Upon walking in to the cafeteria I had shouts from all corners and kids risking breaking the rules to rush me for a squeeze. Lots of the kids even remembered that I had surgery over the summer. They asked about my voice and if the students were being good. Man, I love those kiddos.

My plan went well and because I have so many students from the first grade next to me now in my second grade class I had them do the explaining for me. It was perfect. (I'm knocking on wood right now-can't hurt). The students were attentive, fun, engaged---maybe they were scared or tired. You can never really tell the first day. I will keep y'all posted. Right now I am riding high on SUCCESS. I'll take it and I will see what tomorrow brings.

Best part about today...I was able to have dinnertime conversation with the boys about their first day of school and Jake even said, "Hey mom your voice sounds great, didn't you have to talk a lot today?" And my throat is not sore at all. I am grinning like a goofy kid tonight.

"Go Melissa, it's yo birthday, go and party like it's yo birthday" I know HK is singing anyone else?

Mel out!

Night Before School Jitters

Yep...I got 'em. I know, those of you who know me well are yelling at your computers "bologna, never been nervous in her life" Well, you are wrong. I always get a little jumpy the night before. I am excited and nervous at the same time.

I LOVE the first day of school, always have. I remember getting all dressed up for kindergarten(even though I fought my mom, cuz I didn't want to wear a dress-"boys don't have to wear dresses") The sassy Dorothy Hamill haircut in the 5th grade. I remember the scratchy polyester herringbone uniform from Junior High. And the freedom of walking into High School, knowing I chose to go to EFA rather than Notre Dame(no more Catholic School for this chick!)

It's no different now, I love the new school supplies and the fact that you get a "do over" each year. Fresh start, fresh faces. The chance to make a difference or have one made in your life. I LOVE IT.

But tonight...I'm apprehensive. Change is entering my workplace. Some change is good, lots of change I am not too sure about. We shall see. The boys are both in different settings(Cody in Kindergarten and Jake at a middle school where he knows kids but all his best buds are elsewhere). Stress effects my vocal cords sooooo I'm trying not to stress out about it. Just let it all work itself out.

I have a great plan in place for mission "reduce verbalization". Stop laughing...it could happen. Geez, I love to talk. I do. And read out loud and really ham it up for the kids, and you guys too.(my two readers) I am hopeful, optimistic and energized. Good things are on the way, you will see and I am going to tackle this like everything else in my life. Jump in with both feet and hang on for a wild ride. Join me won't you?

Mel out!

Ok...so I may have panicked. I can soooo do this!

Went to school today for the final, yes I say FINAL time before Tuesday. If it isn't ready the 7 year olds won't even know right? Right. But I did make a pretty good plan of action for the pantomime routine that will be my teaching style from now on. Granted I can talk I just have to cut back on the talking, the volume has to come down and I can't animate it as much as with growling, clearing-you know the fun stuff the kids love when you read to them out loud. Oh well. I will adjust and the kids will do the animation for me.

I found these great signs that say everything I need. Sit down. Raise your hand. Clean up. Line up quietly etc. I will flag those babies around every chance I get. The first day of school I will just lay it on the line...this is how it is I do not repeat and that is that. I have my microphone still and it has an extra so I will let the kids use the microphone to repeat the directions so I don't have to and anything that has to be read aloud, they can do that too. They love to use microphones. They will be "kid coaches" or my "co -teachers" or something like that I can not think of anything really catchy this late.

I will use the time at lunch, specials, recess, before and after school for vocal rest. Keep quiet in the hall when walking with the kids. Continue the water hydration and stay out of loud situations on the weekends when I am being social. No yelling at sporting events, do not talk over people in loud rooms like restaurants etc. Then maybe I can save my voice for singing a bit. I do miss it.

I can totally do this. Piece of cake. Well.....I will try anyhow. Never been really good at keeping quiet. But I don't have to anymore I just have to make some adjustments and stick to them. I got this. You'll see.

She's baaaack!

Sooooo.... It's not going as well as I had hoped. Therefore I have decided to return to the blog. I have very little voice stamina and it is still painful to speak. Is this some cruel joke? Payback for something I have done in my life? Maybe. I am using all of the vocal hygiene guidelines- staying hydrated, not whispering, not yelling(well...do you know me? Do you know my kids? Do you know how I feel about dealing with incompetent individuals?) All I know is school starts next week and I can't even make it a couple of hours with social conversation or with my own two children without having pain, strain and exhaustion. I'm in trouble, I think. I do have some stress in my life still and I carry that stress in my neck and throat. Imagine feeling like someone has his hand clasped around your throat at all times. That is exactly how it feels all the time. I can't wear a crew neck t-shirt or a necklace. Anything against my neck drives me crazy. It is very frustrating. I have no idea how I will make it through the first week of school. You have to talk soooooo much the first few days. After that I will be able to work some routines that will allow me to use signals etc. but the first few days that is almost impossible. Harumph! The Doc doesn't want to see me until Oct. YIKES!

Last post?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this will be my last post. My official recovery period is to end on Tuesday. Lots of other things have ended as well. Another chronological year and my stint as a pet owner to name a couple. I guess I just couldn't hack it. Loved the little guy but he had some issues that I just couldn't "fix" no matter how hard I tried or wanted it to work out. I will miss him dearly, I got him for me not the kids. I needed him. Oh well.

I've learned alot these past 4 weeks about myself, my "condition", patience, friendship and listening. I will listen more(not just because I have to) because it has been quite interesting to hear what I have missed all these years of blabbing. So... no more "Motor-mouth Melissa". My brothers will be so disappointed it took all these years for me to figure this out. Better late than never, I say.

Thank you to everyone who txtd with me, brought me flowers, left me voicemail messages, sent cards etc. I appreciate it all.

Peace out...Melissa(the Cute Mute)

Good experiment

My Intro to Psychology professor Benny Hunziker(spelling is not correct here I know) would be proud to know I continue to be fascinated by the social behavior of people. I know that it is not everyday that a woman sports a metallic pink magna doodle in a bar as she attempts to converse with her friend. But, hey...that doesn't mean she is a liar. Most people just kindly stare and nudge the person next to them "Hey look at that wack job?" or someone might come up and say "Hey whatcha drawing?" It's actually a great conversation starter if the right person comes up to you. On the other hand when a crazy drunk 60+ fella comes over and decides it is his mission in life to discredit the mute, well...that's too much. And that's how the night went, lovely conversation with friend, interruption by onlooker "What the heck is this?", lovely conversation with friend, interruption by onlooker "She must be lying I don't see a scar.", lovely conversation with friend, onlooker takes magna doodle and writes own message to me on it-Hellllloooooo I can hear I just can't talk duh? It's a whole lotta work I just don't know if it's worth it. Ugh!

I've had all I can stands...

"I've had all I can stands and I can't stands no more!"(Popeye) I need more than spinach to get me through this.

I know it was a woman who invented summer camp. Well, I should say I think that because I am at the breaking point. She knew what she was doing, ship 'em out and save your sanity. I wish I had the funds for summer camp. No matter what I suggest it is not more fun than the Wii. And I'm not allowing the Wii on a sunny summer day. Pool? Good for about 30 minutes tops. Swingset? 30. Walking the dog? 45 mins. Playground? 30minutes. The other stuff costs major money. Have you gone bowling lately? Or to play putt, putt? Geeeeesh!

God forbid I try to do some laundry while clouds and rain surround us. They want me to entertain them 24/7. Why can't you- read a book...clean your room...color(ya know the thing with crayons and a pre-made picture, been around FOREVER) They act like I'm asking them to solve the economic problem in this country or to scrub the toilets.

I know things are different now but I remember waking up on a summer day early, putting on my bathing suit under my clothes (just in case a kind friend invited me to swim) hopped on my bike and be gone ALL DAY. I could always find something to occupy my time. These two boys of mine are "bored" no matter what hoops I jump through. I'm exhausted and I have been bumped up to speaking for 5 mins. per hour but it is very uncomfortable. My throat is sore and it's making me cranky.

I would like to run away for a nice long 4 day weekend just for me, but I'm broke so I'll just hop on my swing in the backyard with a glass of wine and pretend I guess. Deep breaths count to 10.

Not gonna catch me Coppah!

So yeah the Johnny Depp movie rubbed off on me a little. Baby Face Bilyo and the Roth Girls were heading for an adventurous afternoon. We were dressed to the nines and we knew it. Nothing was gonna stop us from making our hit. Destination: Clymer, NY St. Matthias Church. Quaint little chapel surrounded by a cornfield. With GPS in hand Carrie navigated from the backseat and Steph with mapquest directions in hand assisted from the front. I drove the get away car. My mission: get us there on time(yes we were cutting it close) Country back roads led the way, very stealth mission-in and out and nobody gets hurt. Pay attention to speed limit signs? Please? Why would we do that? We were too busy looking for Route 21 and you know country roads for the most part are 55. Well, not this one, 30 here, 45 here, back to 30(we noticed this after the lights were blazing behind us).

Yep, with lights a blazin the fuzz bore down on us. I pulled over well before the sirens blared, no need for more attention we were trying to keep a low profile. The officer cautiously came up along side the vehicle, checking in the windows upon approach. I had my white board perched on my lap ready for communication. He said "Hi there Ladies!" I waved and bit my lip. Steph stepped in and relayed the important information "She wants me to let you know she cannot speak due to a surgical procedure". He looked confused but went with it. He asked sternly, "Do you know why I pulled you over? I wrote guessing speed? I was looking for the County Route 21 sign and I didn't see a speed limit sign. He said, "That is exactly why I pulled you over I had you clocked at 53 in a 30." We all gasped a little, YIKES. I figured I was going 45 but whatever. He took my license and registration and went to run it through the system. I hoped there weren't any warrants out for me. (Hey, ya never know)

The officer returned about 5 minutes later shaking his head, not a good sign to me. He spoke slowly and with defeat..." I can't believe I'm gonna do this but I'm going to let you go with a verbal warning. Just slow down, please slow way down." Then he helped us with directions and sent us on our way. Phew..... very lucky, I know this all too well. My brother(the cop) would have given me 2 tickets just to teach me a lesson. I signed sorry and thank you to the kind officer. We were off...

Got to the wedding in just the nick of time. It was a beautiful ceremony. The bride was a vision. The priest was had a very thick accent and at one point Lexy, who sat to my left, reached in my purse to get the mini magna doodle to offer it to him for clarification. It was hysterical! We then got lost(again) for a few minutes but regrouped, refocused, reprogrammed and we were on our way to the reception. We all needed a drink at this point!

Reception was nice, everything looked so beautiful and the food was fabulous! We danced, we drank something I'm pretty sure was borderline moonshine(had the headache to prove it and I didn't even have that much) and I kept my big mouth shut. Guests kept coming up to Carrie and Steph saying, "And why doesn't your friend speak?" It didn't keep me from dancing and lip syncing. Good times, good times. I wonder what other trouble I can cause over the next two weeks ;)

And the Doctor said...

He said I could speak for 1 min/hour for the rest of this week. What? Things like...yes...no...please...thank you ...and an occasional...pass the butter. Who says that anyhow? Wally and the Beaver maybe on re-runs. Does this guy know who he is dealing with? I am no mere amateur fella. I have been a professional gabber since birth. I can't get by with those few words for that short of time without taking it too far, it is easier to just stay a complete mute. It's gonna take a lot of self control-YIKES!

Lab results were clear, no cancer. Yahoo! Maybe my luck is turning around. I have resorted to using a referee whistle to call the boys in from outdoors and for when I mean business. It works like a charm.

As always thanks for reading friends and I hope to say thank you, or please or pass the butter to you very soon.

The puppet master

While trying to converse with my 5 year old, Cody( who doesn't read yet) I began to act it out charade style. His comment "Ok puppet and what will you do for your next trick?" He never did get what I was trying to say but what was the point by then right?

I go to the Doctor tomorrow to find out how things are healing and what the lab said about the nodules. Fingers crossed please. The Doc doesn't think they are cancerous but the way my life has been going ya just never know.

Off to play putt putt and drive some go carts this afternoon with the boys and my niece Gabby who is saving me this week. She is my voice and I love her!

aahhhhh the movies

Yep, everyone is supposed to be quiet at the movies. I felt very normal, except for when my friend Susie asked me a question and I needed to whip out my handy dandy metalic pink mini magna doodle to scribe my answer in crafty shorthand(cuz it is small enough to fit in my purse) and a 9 year old kid looked at me like I was a freak. Yeah, jealous kid-Target clearance rack $3.43.

On the up side, the young man at Starbucks chuckled at the neatly scribed-grande peppermint mocha frap please-and then felt very bad so he offered to give me my drink for free. I would not have it, no hand outs here. Thank you very much. (I had a gift card, hee hee-not my money anyhow) And when my friend Dave made a wise ass comment about my quiet nature "I can still kick UR ass" fit just nicely in the 4 X 6 magna doodle screen.

Also, it is nice to know that the good ole fashion "bird" is still the universal sign language we all carry around with us. Driving just can't be accomplished without it, it gets the job done. Those teenagers were driving slower then my grandmother on a good day and I had to get somewhere, geeesh!

Oh I got skill people, I can still do my thang! Well....sorta :(

My boys come back to me in the morning, I'm gonna squeeze them to death!

Everybody shut up!

Did that get any one's attention? I'm starting to get all worked up about it, this silence thing. Everyone else just carelessly uses the gift of speech left and right. Who do they think they are anyhow, helllllloooooo mute here!

I know crazy ranting does nothing. Sorry. I have noticed that much like a person who loses one sense, the others make up for it. (Yes I know speaking is not a sense but I can't make my point without using it as such.)

My hearing has become very acute. The bionic woman had nothing on me right now. I hear everything and I wish the dog had the surgery with me, yikes! It is extremely annoying and I'm thinking I have missed alot these great many years with my yapper flapping nonstop. So...I will learn from this. Listen more, speak less. You can all stop shouting AMEN, I hear you!

Silent Observer

Yep, that is what is has come down to. Silent observer, that's me. Some people call it stalking but I prefer the clinical term.

Only thing worth reporting from my perch in the backyard along the scenic Erie Canal- "Duck Woman". She resembles the beloved character from Walt Disney's Mary Poppins, the Pigeon Lady. Feed the birds and all that...you know the one.

She struts down the canal at a pace any speed walker would be jealous of. Wearing her white baseball cap, shorts and cardigan sweater. Her call is loud and proud, a screech at times for all to hear. The first day I thought she lost her dog and was calling for it but oh no... "Duckies! Here, Duckies!" Over and over again she calls. In her long skinny arms she carries two pillowcase sized satchels full of what I now know is crushed corn etc. (on my run yesterday I investigated-I am nothing if not thourough) a duck's delight. She stops every 30-40 paces at the edge of the canal waiting for her pets to answer to her call. A momma and her 3 ducklings swim over and they are pelted with no less then 12, yes 12 heavy handfuls from the pillowcases. They "duck" for cover, swim away and then try to return before the treasures sink below the surface to the fish below. They get a little, not much. Then she is off again, 30-40 paces, stop, repeat. About 45 minutes later she returns, sacks empty, broad smile accross her face. She even gave me an energetic wave yesterday. She has her job. Her purpose. She's happy.

Who am I to judge? I'm just a cute mute passing time slowly in my 3ft tall kiddie pool.

Peace out!

Stir crazy!

Yes I'm going a little stir crazy and today was my first day on my own, so that's not a good sign. I didn't feel like venturing out on my own just yet. So I ended up doing all the laundry in the house and read for an hour outside. It was a little chilly out there though. I also managed to take a 3 mile run. It actually felt really good. Normal.

I can't say sleeping was better last night though, I woke every 4 hours. Not sure why other than I really needed a drink of water each time. My throat was soooooo dry. Food is starting to taste better but it's not easy to chew or swallow yet. The kicker is I have not lost one pound! Whatever!

Tomorrow morning I am getting out of this house! I'm gonna go on a photo shoot. I'll be the crazy tourist looking woman who doesn't speak, just smiles as she snaps and snaps and snaps. Ha, ha! Then I will sit by the pool for the afternoon and work on my tan. I'm going to start thinking of this as "vacation" rather than "recovery".

Getting bored with this whole thing and it's only day 2

Tried to sleep in but sleeping was difficult last night. Still a lot of jaw and tongue pain and swallowing is not fun at all. I tried to sleep in a little later (10 AM) but it wasn't good sleep. Know what I mean? I want to yawn all the time but I can't because it is too painful. So I got up got dressed and took my mom for a pedicure. A little pampering was nice. Then we took the dog for a pawicure, why not? I read for a little while and tried to nap, I'm not a good napper though aaaahhhhh those days in college when Jen, Jan and I would take a nap before a big night out are GONE! So I will turn in early tonight.

One funny thing I have noticed. Yesterday people were speaking loudly and slowly. Today they smile and look away like I have a contagious disease. It's like the psychology experiments my friend Kim and I used to have to do in College. I could write a paper, but I won't.

Some days will be boring friends, let's face it my life is not exciting. But it feels better to write it down. I'm bored to death with this not talking business.

Already spoke, darn it!

I made it through the recovery room but once I was on my own...oh well. The dog was following me up the stairs and of course I said "stay", I knew I should have gotten rid of that dog last week. Anyway, surgery went well. The Doctor was able to use the laser to remove the nodules. 2 hour surgery but they kept me there for what seemed like forever afterward. (not really, I was home by 2 PM) Killer headache, jaw pain, I can't stop peeing and I smell like the anesthesia--I know TMI and gross- oh well. Stop reading now, I'm sure it will only get worse with time.

The funniest thing came after surgery though. Everyone knew I was under "strict voice restriction" it was posted EVERYWHERE. So anyone who spoke to me ended up shouting at me and speaking very slowly as if I were deaf. I started laughing which I then had to stop, of course. It was a very TV comedy moment.

I would like to thank all the well wishers from Facebook etc. and send a HUGE thank you to my Mom and Dad. They woke up really early this morning, waited for me for a good portion of the day, drove me back and forth, got the prescriptions and continue to take care of me as I lay around here at home. So thank you Mom and Dad, I am very lucky to have you here with me and I know it.

Stay tuned, I'm sure that there will be more to tell, if anyone cares that is.

Twas the night before surgery

Twas the night before surgery and Melissa was frantically cleaning the house.
Why? Because it took her mind off the impending dread that the morning would bring that's why.

Well, how did I spend my last day of speaking? I talked to every family member and friend possible, sang to every song on the radio in the car, yelled at the dog, hummed, whistled, whispered etc. the whole kit and caboodle. I did my nodules proud. And it felt damn good. I even recorded my voice so that when I can finally speak I can compare the two. When my son Cody had his tonsils out he sounded like he was sucking helium forever so I am curious what I will eventually sound like. The Doc promises I will be able sing afterward(yes he did comment that he was not a miracle worker so he hoped I could sing prior-ha ha everyone is a comedian)

I'm nervous and worried and wished that a prescription of valum had been given. It wasn't so I am having my last meal of the night 10:15 PM and heading off to sleep. (let's be realistic, I will be rearranging my closet at about 2 AM-I won't be able to sleep)

Surgery is at 8:45 keep those fingers crossed.

Tear jerker of a night...

So the boys are going with their dad for a week because of the surgery. Since I won't be able to speak for 7 full days and then only sigh and yawn for the next several days it makes perfect sense. But I am used to seeing my boys every day, well almost every day. When we are away for long periods(long for me is a weekend) we call every night to say goodnight. I won't be able to do that the whole week they are gone and it is killing me to think of it. Sooooo...tonight I sat and wrote letters to them I am calling "Nitey Nite Notes". I know you think I'm queer, I don't care-these are my kids, they are my heart. They will hopefully open one for every night that we are away from each other and I hope that they will feel how much I love them. I hope that they have fun of course and the time flies for them, and for me. I cried thinking about it and then my wonderful friend Jenn Starr, the true star that she is to me, phoned. As if on cue(which is so like her) she had a story about going on a blind date (guy #5-she can work it!) and while they were walking down a street chatting and gazing into each other's eyes, she slammed into a pole. Yes SLAM! She made me laugh so hard the tears fell again, this time with a smile. Thanks Jenn!

My kid is a riot...

Jake has been asking all kinds of questions about the surgery etc. He says to me tonight..."Mom, not that this would ever happen but just in case it does I want you to be ready. What would happen if you were pulled over by the cops and you can't talk to them? You would be like (and he moved his mouth without sound) and they would never believe you because it's just ridiculous. So what are you gonna do, you have to be ready ya know." He total thinks I am Top Cops material. God I love that kid!

Hah! There is more than one way to express yourself!

I figure if I won't be able to talk for awhile I might as well start blogging. I don't know if anyone will read it but at least it will suppress the urge for me to speak out loud. I can ramble through my keyboard and keep myself busy while trying to heal after surgery. Sooooo stay tuned, maybe something crazy will happen over the next 4 weeks and you will all get to enjoy it with me.